Over the past few days I’ve noticed that I haven’t been myself. I seemed to be very tired, not much of an appetite, and just irritated with everything. As I tried to ignore it each day, today was the moment when I realized something isn’t right.
STOP FOR A MOMENT-
- Would you say that you struggle with clinical or everyday depression?
- How do you know when you’re about to fall into a depressive state?
Usually when my depression is about to take off, I’ll feel symptoms such as the following:
- Big appetite, little appetite
It’s as if I have to monitor myself at times OR ELSE I’ll fall into a depressive state and never find my way back out. Today I analyzed myself and realized that I struggle with two different kinds of depression.
- When I am struggling with EVERYDAY depression this is due to the fact that life’s stressors are overwhelming me. I tend to feel as if I’m failing at life and all I’d prefer to do is SLEEP. This is a depression that I can break myself out of though. I know this because I can get through it without shedding any tears.
- CLINICAL depression on the other hand is something that I cannot control. Everything in life can be going so great for me nothing bad is happening, but somehow I still feel this overload of sadness come on to me. When I am in this phase it doesn’t just go away with a little bit of self care, I must cry it out before I can feel better and the tears can sit in my eyes for days or even weeks before I let it out.
Some people tend to not even notice the difference between the two and I know that I didn’t understand it until today. Today I share this blog with you unafraid of what someone may think of me because nine times out of ten I am experiencing feelings that 80% of the world goes through, but may be too afraid to acknowledge or discuss.
So you may ask well what do I do then Jazz, when my depression comes on to me?
Well here’s what I do; I’ll walk you through the exact last 18 hours of my life.
At 9pm last night I got into bed at the same time as my son. I woke up around 7am this morning but instead of me getting out of bed, I asked my mom to PLEASE take the baby and allow me to get some more rest because even after going to bed at nine I was still exhausted (not exhausted but depressed). My mom managed to take the baby and I dozed back off to sleep, just to wake up a few hours later and still feel tired.
I didn’t play with my son this morning, I didn’t eat, nor did I even manage to take a shower. I just waited until his nap time rolled around and then back to sleep I went.
Now here it was 130pm my son was sleeping soundly and I laid in bed wondering what to do with my life. That’s when it had hit me, my depression was coming on to me and I wasn’t doing ANYTHING about it.
I felt weak, worthless, and hopeless; so I did something about it for the FIRST TIME EVER. Here’s what I did and what I hope for you all to do next time your depression rolls around.
- SELF-CARE: I got up and took a shower, put on some clean clothes, and freshened up because good smelling bath products can make anyone feel better.
- NUTRITION: I ate food, I drank water and I managed to eat some ice cream which is the way to my heart as well.
- TAKE CARE OF or LOVE ON SOMEONE ELSE: My son woke up and the first thing I did was hug him very tightly. I needed a bit of loving and who to better love than your own children? I fixed him a very good lunch, changed his diaper and made sure that he was okay because I knew that I wasn’t.
- BE PRODUCTIVE: Here I am now in this exact moment, typing up this blog because I had to find something productive to do. Usually my blogs are already set for blogging days but I chose to write this one because someone out there may need to read it.
I want you all to be better than me, and to feel better than me. Take care of yourselves everyone and never allow depression to get one up on you. I love you all and I hope that this blog reaches someone who may be going through the same thing that I am going through today.
Feel free to share this content, leave some feedback and to also leave your contact information down below if you’re in need of someone to talk to.
Be better today everyone..
*P.S thank you to my mama, Lord knows I don’t know what I’d do without her*